often, when we tell people we are adopting, we get comments like, "wow! that is so great of you!" and "gosh, you are such *good* people!" and "oh, that little boy is so lucky!"
sometimes, we forget and smile and nod and let those comments shine our proverbial halos.
and then we stop and let reality slap us upside the head.
because the truth is, yes, we TOTALLY believe in and want to live out james 1:27 -- religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...
and we TOTALLY believe that God has a heart for waiting children and wants His people to do their part in caring for them.
but, when it boils down to it, our motivation for our choice to adopt and the primary reason we are adopting is because our hearts ache for a child and adoption is a way to build our family. as i mentioned earlier in this post, adoption was something that was always on our hearts. our step towards actually going forward with it just came a lot sooner than expected due to our infertility journey. we'd like to think that even if we could have biological children, we would still adopt, and i do really think we would...but, right now, adoption is the way to fulfill our desire for a child that we can care for and love.
is choi boy lucky to be coming home to us? i don't know, i can't really answer that.
but are we lucky to become choi boy's parents? absolutely and emphatically one hundred percent YES.
above all else, we want choi boy to know that we are so, so, SO blessed to be able to call him our son...that he has fulfilled our dreams and that he is a gift given to us, and not vice versa...that he has built our family and that our journey through adoption is the one that brought him home to our ever waiting arms...that he is a perfect fit for us and that we are so grateful that *we* were chosen to have the great privilege of calling him ours.
so, the next time someone tells us how lucky our son is, i hope to be able to stop and look at them in the eyes and tell them,
no. no, *we* are the lucky ones.
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Ugh. We used to get that all the time as well. But, since coming home a family of three... it's amazing how many people come up to me and say "YOU are so lucky." And, people often just focus on how cute/funny/entertaining/engaging Spencer is which allows them to comment on that, and not the creation of our family. I can count on one hand how many times I've heard that my child is lucky (since coming home) Prior to that, I had lost count.
ReplyDeleteOh, we have heard this a lot too - that Max is one lucky boy. It makes us cringe because frankly we did not adopt him to "save" him or any orphans, really. It was our way to build our family and, like you, we definitely feel like we are the lucky ones to have Max in our life.
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty and your truth.
ReplyDeleteWe would love to say that the only reason we are adopting is to live out James 1:27, but it is also to fulfill the desires of our hearts. However, I believe God has placed that desire in each of our hearts so that we will carry out his plan. You are going to be a great mommy Grace!
Beautiful post. I am excited for your little choi boy to come home to you. Loved the pics of your shower.
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by my blog
So true...people often mistake our decision to adopt as a completely unselfish act, when really it came from our desire to be parents. Now that my kids are old enough to understand, I always make sure to say "Oh, we are the lucky ones!" and we really are.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your journey; I look forward to following along.
Thanks for visiting my blog (www.ispyafamily.blogspot.com)
I know what you mean. People think we adopted because we're incredibly unselfish human beings and to be honest, I think we adopted for a pretty selfish reason. We wanted to be parents. We wanted a baby! plain and simple. I always reply in the very same way! "No, no. WE are the lucky ones."
ReplyDeleteI heart this post! I can identify almost completely, as I too always knew that adoption was the means by which our family would be formed! Congratulations on your journey! Now I'm gonna be tuning in to follow. How exciting for you all!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great sentiment. You are the lucky ones!
ReplyDeleteYes. You will be the lucky ones.
ReplyDeletePeople rarely say that stuff to us anymore, 5 years in. I think it's because James is such a part of our lives and that it is so clear that WE are smitten with him, that we feel so lucky to have him as our son. :)