zip. zilch. zero.

that's how much good news we found out today.

the hubs talked to our specialist and was told that our paperwork is *still* in the ministry.

so, it's true. we've officially passed the typical 4-6 week timeline.

we were told that our agency in korea is hopeful that we will be out of the ministry within the week. they also said they would do what they could to make sure our paperwork goes straight to the US embassy afterwards. and once it does, we will have to wait some more for our visa interview and our visa to be issued by the embassy.

we were also told that our korean agency hopes choi boy will be home by christmas and that they would do what they can to make that happen. and that's all great, but honestly...i never even entertained the fact that choi boy *wouldn't* be home for christmas!

when i first heard this a few hours ago, i was so angry. and frustrated. and upset. and sad. and heartbroken. how could they delay us even further? how could they continue to withhold us from our son? how could they surpass yet another timeline we were given?

our ticker above now reads that we have been waiting for 9 months. nine months. nine months when we were first told 4-6 months and then 5-8 months. at this point, i think, i *think* (don't quote me on this) that the time between our referral and travel is the longest anyone has had to wait in the korea program. and i want to make it absolutely clear that ours was an exceptional case where we just ended up being on the cusp of the timing estimates each time, and that it's just the way the chips fell that things had to be re-estimated every time.

and that's hard. and sad. but it's also the reality that the korea program now faces and will continue to face. i have friends who will, unfortunately, wait even longer to bring their babies home.

and you know what?

there's nothing i can do about it.

no matter how angry, frustrated, upset, sad, and heartbroken i am, there is *nothing* i can do to make this process go faster.

and while i can sit and wallow in self-pity and sadness (which, honestly, is kinda what i've been doing), it's not going to help.

so instead, i'm going to try my darnedest to make the choice to rejoice.

i'm going to rejoice in the fact that we do have a son and that he is healthy and loved and that he *will* be home. and though he might not be home on our timeline, he *will* be home. and though we may not know it right now, there is a reason for this extra wait. perhaps it is to grow our own character and to truly learn and live perserverance. i don't know. but He does.

so. i'm going let go of my own wants and desires and instead, trust and find joy.

and to help me, i'm pulling out the big guns. that's right, friends, christmas cookies; christmas decorating; cheesy chick lit; and even cheesier movies are making themselves cozy in my life.

and you know what else helps?

all of YOU.

you and your love and support and encouagement mean the world to me. truly...i cried reading each of your comments here and on f*book and feel so cared for knowing that your prayers and thoughts are with us. we are so thankful for each of you that make up this incredible community.
i would be an even bigger hot mess without you.

oh, and p.s. we've already been told we won't hear anything until monday. never in my life have i wanted it to be monday so badly.