Friday, December 10, 2010

a headless chicken... totally what i feel like.

i feel like we have SO much to do and SO little time to do it and i can't keep my mind focused on any one thing long enough to actually get it done! so, instead i sit here and blog, natch. ;)

i think my friend, sarah, said it best in the comments: "I remember this part well. You wait FOREVER, the call comes and suddenly you're like epically behind somehow, running around and freaking out!" <-- oh my gosh, TRUTH.

we're leaving on monday morning and will arrive on tuesday afternoon seoul time. we will most likely get to see choi boy the very next morning! hooray! so excited. like, stinkin' THRILLED! ECSTATIC! ELATED!

and also freaked out.

if you have a moment, would you lift our little family up in prayer and/or send some positive thoughts our way? the extended wait has given me lots of extra time to worry about attachment and bonding and, to be honest, right now, it terrifies me! would you pray that our hearts would be at peace as we (finally) meet our son and that we would handle our transition with grace and patience and understanding?

thankyouverymuch. ;)

okay, back to doing stuff...and goodness me, there is SO MUCH stuff to do! like, one of them is learning how to actually use our ergo carrier and use our stroller (city select mini (or whatever it's called)). any helpful tips?

and thank you SO much for all your packing tips! good stuff, friends!!! seriously!

off i go!


  1. deep breaths, mama. i'm not a praying type, but you're definitely getting all the positive, happy vibes I can muster tonight!
    as far as attachment goes, just relax. it doesn't happen overnight. do whatever comes naturally to you, and it'll come. your little boy will LOVE you, but don't freak out if he hates you at first. (gee, i'm being *real* reassuring here, right?)
    but seriously, enjoy these little moments b/c they're ones you'll replay over and over in your head for years to come.
    the mama stuff? NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING. we all just do what we can until it works.
    and don't forget that we're all here for you, the entire journey :)
    big hugs!

  2. I will be praying for you and thinking of you this week. The headless chicken part? So normal. Be it going into labor or getting the travel call. Every parent experiences "The Freak Out". Somehow we all live through it--you will too. Promise!

  3. Definitely covering all 3 of you in prayer! I second a lot of what Elizabeth said - no one knows what they're doing, especially when first becoming a parent - no matter how or when it happens. It's all a bit mystery. But once he's there, you'll figure it out and one day you'll hardly be able to remember when being Carson's Mommy wasn't natural (I said hardly - don't worry if parts of that stick with you).

    You will be great. Big hugs and continued prayers for travel and especially for Choi boy's transition. Keep us posted! Good luck with all of the craziness right now! So happy I don't get to see you next week but looking forward to seeing you once you come up for air sometime in the New Year. ;) Can't wait to meet Carson!

  4. you are always in my thoughts since I found your blog. Choi boy is gaining your family, but also losing everything that is familiar to him. This is the story of his life, you will tell him about the people who loved him before you and help him greive what he has lost. He will love you of course because you are the ones who are there forever and the ones who help him through his story.

  5. GRACE! So excited for you! Just want you to know that you will all be in my prayers all week and thereafter; everything will go as it's supposed to! AND--our SW will be there Wednesday morning to meet our baby girl---so keep an eye out! Maybe our Gracie will be there with Choi boy! :) Hang in there, breathe and it'll all be WONDERFUL!

  6. You will be just fine!!!! I agree, don't worry about the attachment stuff too much. Every kid is different and you will figure out what he needs. You may have an easy transition into parenthood, or you may not. But eventually you will find your new normal as a family of three. Choi boy will adjust and he will love you (until he is a teenager of course).

  7. Oh yes, the overwhelming excitement & emotion! Enjoy it!
    Praying for your safe trip and peace.
    I would suggest taking your Ergo. Easy to pack and it will help in attachment - especially at night - and when you are walking the airplane aisles. You can rent strollers at the airport too which will make things easier there.

  8. Dear Lord, Please be with Grace and Peter as they travel to Korea. We pray that you keep them safe and healthy. Most of all that ALL their worries or fears would be alleviated by Your comfort and peace in them. Thank you SOOO much that they can go see their baby boy - we're all so, so excited and thankful for this miracle!!! We pray that your joy and peace will be overwhelming as they unite with him. We pray for Carson - that his transition will be peaceful, joyful - and that he'd IMMEDIATELY feel treasured by Your love and his wonderful parents' love as well! Thank you for all the MIRACLES that are to come in this beautiful family!!

    In Jesus Name, we pray - AMEN!!!!

    Just felt like throwing a prayer for you Grace! Have a safe trip!! I don't know much about babies but I bet Carson will love being in his mommy's arms. :) I'm totally excited to hear Tiffany's stories about her nephew and to continue following your fun, inspiring stories on this blog as well! And perhaps see Carson in real life someday and share Konglish riddles with him (the rated G ones :) :)).

    Love, Julie

  9. Chicken with your head cut off - that is the perfect description for the post-TC and pre-getting on that plane time. It's crazy! So much to do and yet I could hardly get anything accomplished on my (long) to-do list. I started a million things but never finished a thing - so I'd go check blogs and FB instead :) Miraculously it all comes together. Just try to sleep in a bit during this last weekend at home as that will not happen again for a loooooong time (believe me!)

    As for the attachment stuff, I agree - don't worry. It will come. There will be pain and tears, probably. It will be SO HARD to watch Choi Boy be taken from his foster family. But, as people told me, try to think about the long term. You are his forever family and you will get through the transition and he will love you so much. Having just come through the transition myself, I can attest to you that he really and truly will and it will feel amazing to be his mama!

    I am just so excited for you guys. Thinking and praying for you guys. This is truly a journey of a lifetime. Savor every single moment of your trip. AND BLOG about it so we can share in your moments :)

  10. I remember this like it was yesterday, and it was over 6 months ago! I actually forgot my pin number for my card because I was so stressed with the preparations, and my report cards were left for my principal to proof because there was NO way for me to focus at all.

    All in all, everything comes together :) Be prepared for the "bad" cry or the blank stare . . . you may have read about it (time and time again), but it is totally different to watch such a young child go through the grieving process. It will hurt you to no end, but give up the thought that you can do anything about it except be loving and attentive. I can honestly say that it was REALLY hard in the beginning, but it gets easier week by week, so just know that there is a place that you will be in a few months that is GOOD! :) And lean on your husband a lot, they can be a huge saving grace. I will be thinking about you and your family this next week, keep giving us proof of life!

  11. Definitely praying for you here! You'll get everything ready and packed, so don't worry about that. Your feelings of being freaked out are completely normal! I think everyone feels that way. At first, just focus on doing what Carson needs from you. Don't worry too much about whether or not he is attaching right away. It is a process, a journey, and just being there with him while he grieves is probably the most important thing you can do! This is such an amazing journey--enjoy every moment of it!

  12. Oh my, that is such wonderful news! So happy for you. I will definitely be praying for you and your family. Can't wait to hear all about it.

  13. Christine summed it up perfectly...

    I *still* remember that insanity! I think I may be scarred for life by the pre-travel rush. I'm sending all sorts of good thoughts/prayers/karma your way... but trust me, it will all fall into place and one way or another, you will get through. And come out better for it.

    And please holler if you need someone to walk you through the stroller or the ergo. ;-)

  14. you are going to be great! use a teddy bear or something similar to try the ergo out. i'd suggest piper, but that might no go over so well ;).

    i also love what christine said, about meeting c's needs and not worrying too much about how well he is attaching in the beginning. i couldn't agree more that it's a process. your mama instincts will kick in, and you'll know what to do - trust me!

    i'll be praying for you too!!!

    ps. there's a good chance that you might be there on the same day as our little korean, so keep your eyes peeled for him (if you can take them off of little c!).

  15. praying in so many ways!! we are sooo excited for you!!!

  16. grace, i am so happy and excited for you guys. this is a crazy time and you nailed it - chicken with your head cut off. just remember to do a a chicken dance or two before tomorrow've got lots of reasons to be happy and celebrate.
    try really hard not to worry...enjoy this part of your journey - it is incredible!! and the moment you see your sweet son's face and touch is hand...oh i just cannot wait to hear how you describe your feelings then!!!
    wishing you a safe journey, an amazing time meeting your son, and the adventures of a lifetime in seoul.

  17. Grace,I am so excited for you! I'll be thinking of you ALL week.

  18. Every time I know someone getting ready to bring home her baby, it reminds me of preparing for our children to come home and how exciting/terrifying/overwhelmed/joyful I felt.

    If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be this: ENJOY IT.

    Especially w/our first son, I was so nervous about attachment and just general "how do I change a diaper? make a bottle? get this kid dressed?" parenting worries that I didn't enjoy our trip and homecoming as much as I could have.

    There is plenty of time for attachment and figuring out the best way to put on a onsie and you'll figure them all out, just like every mom eventually does...but you can only go on this pick-up trip once and you only get one first meeting, first night together, etc., so try your best to be in the moment and cherish it. When you come home, we're all here to offer advice and encouragement!

  19. I did the same thing (too much reading) when we were waiting for Nora, our first kiddo. All I could think about was everything that might go wrong. It was terrible. Then I talked with a friend, who was adopted as a baby, and she said Look at me - I'm ok. It's possible for everything to be ok. It's just that the bad stuff is what makes interesting reading. Relax.
    She was right. It's good to be educated, but most likely you will not experience those problems. Focus on getting to know your little guy and try not to stress!
    We'll be thinking of you this week! Enjoy the journey!


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