you know that feeling you get when you're the last one picked for a team? or when all your friends get invited to a party but you don't? or maybe you were athletic and popular and never experienced such privileges. ;)
anyway.
that's how i'm feeling today.
remember that serious hoping and praying i was doing on sunday (and many of you were hoping and praying right along with me) about getting notice of EP submission this week?
yeah, not gonna happen.
it turns out, there *was* a batch sent in to the ministry late last week. and it turns out there *were* phone calls made early this week to families notifying them of their children's EP submissions.
we just weren't one of them.
actually, from our agency, we were the ONLY one that wasn't one of them.
we spoke in person with the program director yesterday and she told us that we absolutely should have been a part of that group, and that when she saw that our names were not on the list along with the other families, she was shocked.
she told us that she would be calling korea to see what happened and she also reassured us that back in april when the EP submission quota was first met, we were definitely on the definitive list for families that were guaranteed 2010 EPs and travel calls.
today she called to tell us that she tried to get the korean agency to push our paperwork into the ministry, but she was told that while we wouldn't get in with this next batch, we *would* be submitted in 2 to 3 weeks.
being submitted in 2 to 3 weeks brings us to traveling in december.
DECEMBER.
*sigh*
i remember when we first got choi boy's referral and saw his sweet little face, we prayed and prayed that he would be home by his first birthday. and when that didn't seem possible, i prayed that he'd be home for halloween (omg, i had the CUTEST costume idea for him and piper -- a knight and his dragon! i know, right? feel free to take that idea as we won't be using it). when we didn't get an august EP, i started praying he'd be home for thanksgiving. well, after today, i am praying that choi boy will be home for christmas.
i don't think i'd be able to handle christmas without him.
and while i'm still choosing to rejoice, because let's face it, a 2010 travel date is still a whole lot better than traveling in february 2011, it's still hard. really hard.
one is the lonliest number.
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Oh. SO sorry. It's such a yucky feeling to have a baby so far away. Praying for Christmas for you and your sweet baby boy.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this! Really hoping your little boy is home in your arms for Christmas!
ReplyDeleteOh Grace, I'm so sorry. Eastern's backlog just sucks. Kick and scream all you want, you deserve it. I really really hope things work out for a December TC.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
Hoping and praying on this end too! I'm Misty BTW. :)
ReplyDeletePRAYING for Christmas, or Thanksgiving! Oh, ad use the costume idea next year, it will be darling!
ReplyDeleteoh, Grace. I am so sorry to hear this. It's like you just can't catch a break. I will say a special prayer tonight that your boy is home in early December. He just has to be!!! hang in there!
ReplyDeleteGrace - I'm so sad for you guys and don't understand all this waiting. I'm praying that your baby will be with you as soon as possible. If you don't travel before Christmas break I think we should all fly over, make a big scene, and just get him! :) Praying for you and Peter!
ReplyDeleteGrace! This SOOOO super-sucks. I can't believe the ministry would just leave you guys out :(
ReplyDeleteI was so hopeful your program director would have success, and I think it's wonderful that she tried so hard to push you guys through.
I'll still hope for sooner. You guys deserve to have that sweet boy home.
Eat lots of sugar tonight - you deserve it!
Hi Grace we are with the Scheidan family, were coming along to, to get our little guy to. By the way our sons last name is Choi, I don't think I mentioned that before. We are here with you praying and hoping for the same. Lindsey in Wisconsin
ReplyDeleteOh, Grace! My heart hurts for you...this is SO unfair and SO hard. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh, that SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS!!! So sorry! I don't blame you at all for being totally upset about it. I sure would be! He WILL come home; it's just taking way too long.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry Grace. It must have been just awful to get this news. I am hoping and praying he is home with you in early December, and praying for strength to endure the wait.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wanted to say how much I enjoyed meeting you and talking with you and your hubby last night. It felt so good to talk with someone else who understands.
Oh Grace I am so sorry. Praying Choi Boy gets here sooner rather than later! And I am praying for your heart today.
ReplyDeleteThis sucks! I hate that you were left out. You are a Marcher! Your referral was before mine. This isn't fair at all. It's time for Choi boy to come home.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read this...you are all in our prayers!
ReplyDeleteI'm heartbroken for you Grace! I'm just going to say it..that's CRAP! I hate that you are the only one left! I can't believe that happened! I'm sooo very sorry friend! I'm saying prayers that you get your travel call sooner then you expect! Thinking of you!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Grace. That quite simply stinks. And yes, traveling in 2010 is so much better than traveling in 2011, but still. We're feeling for you and thinking of you too.
ReplyDelete:-( I'm so sorry for you, this just plain sucks and makes me want to cry! Hugs to you, friend.
ReplyDeleteI know we didn't wait as long as you have, but we were also expecting Briar home long before Halloween (like September), and we ended up landing home from Korea with her on December 17th. But, having a Christmas baby was amazing!!!!
Hang in there, sister!
Oh dear Grace. This is such frustrating news! I'm so sorry. Just hold on...big hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh, Grace. I'm so sorry to hear this! My heart just hurts for you. I know it's so hard to choose to rejoice at times like this. Lots of thoughts and prayers are coming your way, as well as the prayer for Choi Boy to come home in December (or sooner). Hugs, friend!!
ReplyDeleteoh Grace, I'm so sorry. My heart snunk when i read this. Sending lots of prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteGrace - this is not fair!! I'm feeling so sad for you right now. To have a moving target like that (and I am familiar with that feeling myself) just STINKS!! You're right - this is better than Feb. 2011 but SHEESH, your TC is inching closer and closer to that time anyway, isn't it? Still praying for out-of-the-blue-there's-been-a-mistake-good-news for you guys! And yes, one IS the loneliest number but I hope you know that you are not alone - we are all here for you Grace.
ReplyDeleteGrace, this is just awful. I'm so sorry and my heart hurts for you. I know exactly how you're feeling and I promise you that very soon, NONE of this will matter. I know it's impossible to see it from this perspective right now. But, I am just a recent transplant on the other side of the adoption fence, and all of the waiting is a distant memory. I too, thought Maddyx would be home much, much sooner than he was. Hang in there. My advise. Enjoy your last days of freedom!! Very soon, it will be gone! A trade off that is so worth it, but still gone. ;-) Do whatever it is that you love, do it without reservations, and do it often!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Grace:-( I don't understand why the ministry is doing this!!! Sending prayers and BIG ((((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteWow, how unfair and awful. Really - they leave ONE family out? That's just not right. I am so sorry to hear these horrible news.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I was so hoping and was pretty sure you'd make that group. He WILL be home but I know it's hard to feel that way sometimes.
ReplyDeleteOh Grace. I just have no words.... I'm so crushed and heartbroken for you. I can't believe you are the only family left! I've said before I have no real understanding about how that part of the process works, but this seems like it's not working at all and it's unfair to boot.
ReplyDeleteHugs, friend, hugs.
I'm so sorry, Grace!! It's just not fair and you have every right to have a major meltdown and even temper tantrum. I know I would!! I'm praying he will be home even sooner than you think! Hang in there! :)
ReplyDeleteGrace, I completely understand the frustration with a moving target. We thought Sept because of how things were going over the summer. The we thought Oct. Now we are praying for Nov or Dec instead of next Feb. The EP quota stinks. Those of us at the end of the stack did not get our children home as quickly as the kids just before ours. It's hard.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that the ministry moves super fast on cases so that Nov is still possible for you. I'm so sorry you were left out of the batch.
I am so so so sorry, my dear friend. Your email literally had me in tears. Let's go out and do fun things to make the next two months (for both of us) fly by until we can bring home our sons!
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Oh Grace, I'm so sorry to hear this news. It's heartbreaking. Life just seems so unfair sometimes. I pray you get to bring him home in December.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you sound so calm in this post. I would be pulling my hair out. It's not right. If you makes you feel better we were to get an EP submission and they missed us. Families behind us went ahead of us. It sucks. There is no other way around it. I'll be praying for you girl!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about all this. Hey, MAYBE... we will travel together in December. We can hope... I will keep praying for you to hear great news real soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are stuck in this horrible back log!!! It always seems that just when you think you know what to expect the rug gets pulled out from beneath you again... and again... and again. I know nothing can take away the pain and frustration but know that lots of people are praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteOh Grace, your post brought tears to my eyes - my heart is broken that you weren't submitted.
ReplyDeleteI can hardly imagine. I guess you just have to have visions of sugar plums dance in your head and I'm praying for submission soon!
Way to go Rejoicing in all circumstances. That is not an easy call but remember that God truly is with you ALL the time. Hugs!
grace, i can't imagine how you are feeling. you must be heartbroken. i'm hoping and praying right along with you that your son is home for way before christmas. thinking of you and sending hugs. . .
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry... and very frustrated for you! {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteWHAT. that is so gutting. i'm so sorry. crying with you... i can't imagine how hard that must feel. hugs from around the world.
ReplyDeleteGrace, So sorry to hear this. The bureaucracy and the waiting are so frustrating and so pointless. It strikes me as so bizarre why you'd be the only one left out. Hoping that somehow things happen unexpectedly sooner. I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteOh I am so sorry. I'm praying with you that your precious son is here with you at Christmas.
ReplyDeletexoxo
ugh. i wish i had something to say to make you guys feel better. thinking of that wait makes me feel like puking. know that so many people are thinking and praying for you guys...including me! i hope this wait will all be a blur real soon for you guys!
ReplyDeletegrace. i am so sorry. this is so not fair. i just want to cry right now with you. i will pray hard that your adorable & beautiful son will be HOME in december or sooner. we are ALL here for you.
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up Grace. We were one of those families that didn't get submitted when we were "sure" to from our agency and everyone else. They split our batch into two and the cut-off was us. We waited 8+ months to travel and it was excruciating. When all of it was happening it didn't seem like we were ever going to really reach the end, but I'm here to tell you that you do and it's wonderful. So, please have faith and know that once you get that beautiful little boy home all of this waiting and praying and disappointment will all be a distant memory - I promise. And, there are people who understand exactly how you feel :)
ReplyDelete