tired of...

waiting.

of being anxious.

tired of staring at my phone, willing it to ring.

tired of being totally scatter-brained, not being able to concentrate on anything.

of being asked questions to which i don't know the answers.

of missing my son.

tired of looking at the calendar and guessing.

tired of wanting it to be my turn.

of crying tears for a little one i have not yet met.

.
.
.

i'm not going to lie. last week was really hard. many tears were shed. many frustrations were voiced. i told the hubs i've reached my breaking point in this wait. i truly thought we would have heard something by now and that we would have had a more definite idea of when choi boy would be home.

i am trying so hard to trust and wait on God's timing, but the nine-month mark of waiting is coming up next week, making the grand total 16 months of waiting from the start of our process, and it's getting harder and harder.

today is monday in seoul. it is also the start of the sixth week since our EP submission, and we were told it would probably be 4-6 weeks from submission to approval. i am hoping and praying that our paperwork will be out of the ministry today or tomorrow. i am hoping and praying that we will hear something very very very soon.

until then, we'll just have to continue to wait, as hard as it is.

even piper looks like she's waiting for her brother...


choi boy, we miss you, baby...hope to have you in our arms so, so soon.