Wednesday, May 9, 2012

i swear, the post office is cursed.

about a year ago, i wrote this post about the joys of taking a toddler to the post office.

apparently, i didn't learn my lesson.

today, choi boy and i hit the post office to mail out some packages. i had planned to go before picking him up, but i had a meeting that ran late, and i couldn't hold off til tomorrow because i had to mail my mother-in-law's gift for mother's day, so i gritted my teeth and walked through those red and blue doors, cb in hand. (and by the way, it was one of *those* kinds of days...the morning started with a ticket. awe.some.)

oh. my. goodness.

today's P.O. visit was legendary.

epic, if you will.

in a very, very bad way.

first of all, none of the free priority mail boxes were big enough for two of the packages. so i had to go buy some of the boxes they sell at the post office. then i had to pay for them before i was done packing them because by then it was 4:58 and they were closing up the window. so i paid for the boxes (with the clerk repeatedly reminding me that she needed to clock out) with the intention of finishing packing the boxes and using the automated self-service machine.

and i did finish packing the boxes. while cb ran laps around the post office. while yelling, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed!" with his elastic waisted pants falling down. and carrying a bag of crackers/stuffing his face. the bag of crackers with which i attempted to bribe him into quiteness and stillness. (yeah, notsomuch).

the lobby was empty at this point, so i just let him run and yell. whatever.

i finished packing and taping (while cursing myelf for not buying boxes and putting the packages together at home) and coaxed cb over to the automated machine where there was now a girl mailing off her own package (while simultaneously texting, etc. not that i'm judging; had i been sans kiddo, i probably would have done the same!).

finally, it was our turn, and i was just about to pay for my first package when cb looked at me with a certain look and i just knew. i knew!

last time it was a bit of barf, and this time? yep. poop.

it's true. my "potty trained" little man is still not fully down with the number 2s. and without going into too much detail, i'll just say he needed to find a bathroom. to um, finish.

so, we scooped up all our packages and ran. i threw the packages back in the car, scooped up cb and ran next door to chipotle, and made a beeline for the bathroom, while whispering in cb's ear, "just hold it for a minute!!"

he did his business, and i cleaned everything up, but it wasn't pretty. and i exclaimed, "oh, cr@p!" a few times. and then i laughed because it was so literal and ridiculous. and then cb started chanting, "cr@p, cr@p, cr@p, cr@p!" and of course, when i asked him to stop, he just said it louder, marveling at the echo and the acoustics of the chipotle bathroom.

we finally got out of the bathroom (where we were greeted by a line of ladies waiting to use the restroom), and walked back outside where it had started to rain. and as we ran back to the car, getting wet and avoiding puddles, cb made up this little song, "i go poo poo! mommy go pee pee! ha ha ha!" and broke into a fit of giggles.

as i loaded him back into the car, i just laughed, too.

because at that point, if i didn't laugh, i would have cried thinking about the 40 minutes of ridiculousness that had just transpired.
Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

and the packages?

they never got sent. they're sitting in my car right now. and you better bet i'm sending them off with the hubs tomorrow morning for him to mail.

i don't think i'll be setting foot into a post office with cb again until he's 10.

remind that to me next time i forget, okay?


  1. LOL - too funny! All I have to say is "Click and Ship!" I NEVER go to the PO anymore, if I can help it. I have a stash of those free boxes at home and you can do everything right from your computer as long as you have a scale of some sort to weigh the boxes. (I use an antique kitchen scale.) You can even schedule a free pick-up, and they pick it up from your door. LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! It would keep you (and Choi Boy) out of the PO :)

  2. Oh. My. Goodness!!! This is hilarious - sorry!

  3. Nastypants! This story has single-handedly stolen what little motivation I had to get Hammie on the Potty Train this month. Thanks for the laugh.

  4. Oh my... I'm sorry, but this is ABSOLUTELY hysterical!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (Sorry though, I do understand the pain...)

  5. OH. MY. GOD. I'm so sorry - that's horrible!!! Every detail. I have had nothing but bad luck at the PO with Max too. That place is cursed. Although no poop incidents ... thankfully my almost 3 year old still wears diapers. Ha! OK, now I'm feeling super guilty because I have a feeling one of those packages was coming to Seattle. I'm soooooooo sorry :(

  6. Ohhhhh, GRACE! And...this is why I have MISSED your blog. I'm sorry to say...this made me hard...outloud. I shouldn't admit it, but I did...only because I can imagine being in the same situation. Oh dear. I'm sorry...but I'm so glad you shared this.


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