Next and Final Steps!

One hundred forty-five days. That's about 22 weeks. Or five months. It might seem like a random, arbitrary number, but that's how long we waited for our Emigration Permit approval. That's right, waited. Which means we are no longer waiting -- we got it!

Though we waited much, much, much longer than we had anticipated, we are SO very grateful things are moving forward and we are heading into our next and final steps. We had initially thought we would be in Korea at about this time, but with unexpected delays, that obviously didn't happen. We knew approval would come, it was just a matter of when. And now that when has happened we are ecstatic! 

So, what happens next? Next, we wait for a court date -- our papers were submitted to the Korean Family Court the day after our approval and will be reviewed by a judge who will take our case. We anticipate we will hear about our court date within 1-3 months. Court dates are typically scheduled about 1-2 months after the notification, which puts us in Korea for our first trip any time between late August and November. After waiting so long for this step, we are praying hard that things will move a little more quickly for the next steps, but also trying to remain realistic. At this point, I'm thinking we'll be in Korea for our court date in late September. From there, we'll wait another 3-8 weeks for final approval and we'll be able to bring our sweet girl home. We are 99% certain our Choi Girl will be home for Christmas and everything will be done well before the end of the year.

It's been a long, long, long process (this past May was our 3 year mark!) and we're not finished yet, but we're beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and we know we'll be bringing  CG HOME SOON. Can't wait to have our little girl in our arms!!! We're coming for you, CG!

EEEEEEEP!!!

After over a year of waiting and having no movement within our adoption process for our Choi Girl, about a month ago, we received the news that our girl’s paperwork was submitted for her Emigration Permit, or EP — hence the EEEEEEP!





So, here’s what this means…EP approval is one the final steps needed before we can travel to Korea to meet our daughter. Being submitted for our EP means that our case is (finally!) moving forward and we are inching towards the finish. After EP approval, our paperwork is submitted to the Korean Family Court and after review, we are given a court date, which will be the date which our first trip to Korea will be planned around. After our first trip, we will wait for our final approval and our visa interview date (which sets the date of our second trip) and we’ll finally be able to bring our girl home!

we've got a secret...

Yes, we've got a secret to share...


...it's a really good one, too.


After patiently waiting for 14 months,

we received a referral for a sweet baby girl back in January!

We can't share too many details publicly until we receive final approval just before we can bring her home, but our little Choi Girl is currently living in Korea with her loving foster family and she will be 1 in May. I can't post any pictures of her face either, but trust me, our CG is quite the little beauty, if I do say so myself. I mean, have you ever seen such perfect little feet? ;) (Besides CB's of course!)



So, what happens next? We wait. And wait. And wait and wait and wait and wait. It will be quite a long, long while until our daughter (our daughter!!) will be home and actually standing beside us...we're hoping that she will be home before the end of 2015, and optimistically praying that it will be closer to the Spring of 2015.

It will, for sure, be a long and hard wait, but as I've reminded myself again and again, what's 2 years in the span of a lifetime together?

So, until then, we'll wait and pray and love her from afar until she can come home and complete our little family.


I mean, it's not like, we've got our hands full or anything in the meantime...

(Do I look totally unfazed? Because I am. Because this pretty much happens all day long. ;) )

*All photos taken by my incredibly talented friend, Sandra, of Three Continents Photography. Originally, I wasn't going to do a big announcement, but after she took these photos, I just had to share them! So, many apologies for the Choi family photo overload!!!

it's baaaaack!

For a while, my Etsy shop has been rather defunct. As in it was on temporary permanent vacation (in my head, that makes sense).

But now that we're in the thick of waiting for our second referral and have a long wait ahead of us until Choi Girl is home, I thought it was time to get things started again. (Again, in my head that totally makes sense, too!)

This time around, things are little different in the shop. While you can still order customized baby name paintings like these:

 I've also added a new collection of customized Moleskine notebooks like these:

I've always loved doodling and hand-lettering, so I'm really excited about these and love the opportunity to get really creative!

I hope you'll take a minute to pop over and see what's new! My goal is to use the sales to help us save up so Choi Boy can join us on our trip to bring home Choi Girl...:) 

some news!

hi, there! just stopping by for a quick second to share some news:

that's right, folks! our homestudy has {finally} gone to korea and we are now "officially" waiting for a referral of choi girl. 

now.

we've been told that it will be anywhere from 12-24 months until we actually receive a referral, but at least it's now official. 

it's the little things! (at least while i'm still being relatively patient, it is. ;) )

that's all for now. 

reflections.

we have been home with choi boy for a week now and have been together for ten days total.

it's crazy how much our lives have changed in those ten days!

our days are now filled with toddler-chasing, laundering tiny clothes, picking up lots of toys (how can ONE child make SUCH a mess??), singing silly songs, climbing stairs again and again and again, and laughing and "awwwwwwww"ing a lot. :)

suddenly, moments like these are our new normal:

my two babies, together at last. :)


choi boy does this when piper licks his face. it's simultaneously cute and gross and disgusting. we're trying to get choi boy to stop doing this, but every time he does it, we're laughing so hard we can't tell him to stop!


this one is blurry, but the story is so cute...after sharing his food with piper all week, choi boy expected something in return. he's standing in front of piper as she eats going, "ah! ah!" as if piper's going to pop some kibble into his mouth! (psst, look at piper's awesome bandana! more on this and the sweet, sweet friend that made it to come!)


enjoying the box from grandma and grandpa choi more than the actual present. :)


"stop taking pictures, momma!"


kisses through the crib bars...so sweet.


a semi-decent family shot -- choi boy just woke up. but how cute is his little peacoat? thanks, april! :)

i've been reflecting a lot on our journey up until this point. our time of waiting was so incredibly hard. the daily wake-ups picturing our boy's face and not knowing when we'd have him home. the walking past an empty nursery, which was an extra reminder of our empty arms. the ever-changing timeline. the aching and longing for a child we had yet to meet but still missed very much...

a lot of people said that i would forget the wait once choi boy was home. and while i don't think i'll ever *forget* how hard and painful it was, choi boy being home has certainly made the wait worth the while.

with our son home, i know now that i would do it ALL over again and then some to have our sweet boy in our arms. it was certainly difficult, but the joy of having this little one *home* is so much greater.

i can't believe i get to look at this little face ALL day and be blessed with such sweet smiles...

it's actually happening. {oh, and my friends are awesomer than yours} ;)

i called the state department this afternoon; it was something i was nervous about doing because i didn't want to hear more bad news. i sucked it up, made the call, and to my utter shock and delight, after checking my info, the woman on the other line said,

"oh, he is so cute! and he had his visa interview today!"


i immediately started blubbering (did you expect anything less??), said thank you, and hung up. thinking back, she probably thought i was crazy!

that was a few hours ago and i'm still shaking. i cannot believe this is actually happening!

a call from our agency director tonight confirmed what we heard from the state department and we were told that she will just need to call us with the official official travel call after they get the physical visa at the korean agency. but, we *will* be heading off to the motherland in a few days!


OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

and do you know what the best part is? this amazing news came on the heels of a ridiculously amazing outpouring of love from family and friends. and i *know* it's no coincidence.

when i needed it the most, God provided just what i needed -- tangible evidence of how loved and cared for we are. *so* many friends emailed me out of the blue this week to check in how i was doing and encourage me. and though i didn't email most back because my heart and head were (and still are) so scattered, i was so blessed by their prayers and reaching out. other friends (and my awsome momma and sister) took me out for meals, coffee, and other needed distractions.

and, my blog friends (and i need to stop calling them that. at this point, i can securely say they're truly my *friends*!) stepped it up a notch, too.

my sweet friend, dana, has been emailing with me over the last few weeks and her latest emails have just been the sweetest, most uplifting emails ever. they literally put a smile on my face and in my inbox.

my empathetic friend, min, has been checking in with me daily, as we both waited to hear something about our children and when they'd be ready to travel. i can't wait to meet her in person in seoul.

my talented friend, kris, sent me an incredibly thoughtful and meaningful present for choi boy:

she and my other friend, sue, started an etsy shop (kimchi keepsakes) and one of their products is this adorable buckwheat pillow. the best part is that kris picked the fabric to match choi boy's nursery bedding! you can absolutely bet that i cried when i saw it. ;) (pssst, there's a kimchi keepsakes giveaway happening here!)

my hilarious (and superstitious) friend, christine, had a dream last week about how when she was doing a photoshoot of piper at my house, i got our travel call! so, christine decided that since she could actually be here for a photoshoot, she would do the next best thing and edit a picture of piper for me:

isn't that priceless? is it just me or does it look like that stink-eye has been enhanced? ;)

i am so humbled by and grateful for the incredible amount of love that has been poured out on our little family from *all* of you. never in my life did i think that *this* would come out of our adoption process. it blows me away. and it reminds me of how the Lord provides exactly what we need, when we need it, *even* if we think we need something else. all this waiting has been hard, and so many times i wondered why things were taking so long and complained. but it was all worth it. because today's news is made even sweeter by the fact that i know that there is much cheering happening all around the country for us.

and for that, i cannot thank you enough.

running through my head...

admittedly, there are times when i am complete cheeseball in my music tastes. case in point? one of my favorite christmas songs is mariah carey's "all i want for christmas". i know, it's really cheesy, but there is something about it that gets me boppin' and makes me want to unleash my inner diva.

the other day, i was driving, listening to the all-christmas-music station and this song came on. and i started crying. yes, friends, ugly crying. really, the crying part was not terribly surprising, as spontaneous tears have been popping up here and there quite a bit lately. but what *was* surprising was that it was the lyrics that really got me.

i know, right? a mariah carey song made me cry. (okay, confession: in middle school, "hero" would regularly make me cry, especially after the first world trade center bombing when the song was used for all the rescue worker montages.)

but, these lyrics are ones that really echo what's in my heart...and for your listening pleasure as you scroll through the cry-inducing lyrics, my favorite version of this song, from "love actually."

:

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I don't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeers click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
Ooh baby
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is...
You

All I want for Christmas is you... baby

see what i mean? it's everything i'm thinking and wishing right now...well, maybe not the "i just want to see my baby standing right outside my door" part. it would be a bit creepy to find a 15 month-old choi boy suddenly standing outside my door. i mean, i would love it, but it would be weird.

goodness, this child needs to come home! pretty soon, it'll be jonas brothers and justin bieber songs that will be making me cry!

coping mechanism.

hi, there.

thanks for all your love. i so needed/still need it. ;)

today was a better day.

fo sho.

wanna know my secret?

keeping myself busy and distracted.

with what, you ask?

take a peek:

the hubs says it looks more like ornament balls decorated with a little bit of tree. whatevs, i love my big glittery ornaments. t*rget dollar spot -- holla! oh, did you notice our ghetto "tree skirt"? uh huh, that's a blanket. ;) the hubs wants to make sure you notice the prominently displayed wisconsin W.


freshly baked cookies on a cheesy frosted christmas platter. and a vanilla candle. mmmm...love. oh, and hello, choi boy!

that empty pie tin? there used to be a boston cream pie in there. it was delish.


don't judge me on my fluff picks.



was anybody else super disappointed that they didn't do the running leap into a magical lift (à la baby and johnny)at the end?

and my favorite, favorite distraction?

this girl:
who puts up with me, even though i do mean things like that. if you look closely, you can see some drool. i know, i'm evil. but, what self control my girl has! and what mastery of the stink eye she has!

this is her favorite hangout in our house:


see?

did you notice those little pink spots in the first picture? go back and check again.

know what they are?

look:

piper found this sheet of leftover stickers from the valentines i gave out to my students last year. (i was using the sticker sheet as a bookmark.) somehow, without any opposable thumbs, or *fingers*, for that matter, she managed to peel off four stickers and stick 'em on her blanket.

i have no idea how she did it. but i do admire her decorating sense...it's a little vintage-country-living-meets-ironic, no?

my dog is a genius.

zip. zilch. zero.

that's how much good news we found out today.

the hubs talked to our specialist and was told that our paperwork is *still* in the ministry.

so, it's true. we've officially passed the typical 4-6 week timeline.

we were told that our agency in korea is hopeful that we will be out of the ministry within the week. they also said they would do what they could to make sure our paperwork goes straight to the US embassy afterwards. and once it does, we will have to wait some more for our visa interview and our visa to be issued by the embassy.

we were also told that our korean agency hopes choi boy will be home by christmas and that they would do what they can to make that happen. and that's all great, but honestly...i never even entertained the fact that choi boy *wouldn't* be home for christmas!

when i first heard this a few hours ago, i was so angry. and frustrated. and upset. and sad. and heartbroken. how could they delay us even further? how could they continue to withhold us from our son? how could they surpass yet another timeline we were given?

our ticker above now reads that we have been waiting for 9 months. nine months. nine months when we were first told 4-6 months and then 5-8 months. at this point, i think, i *think* (don't quote me on this) that the time between our referral and travel is the longest anyone has had to wait in the korea program. and i want to make it absolutely clear that ours was an exceptional case where we just ended up being on the cusp of the timing estimates each time, and that it's just the way the chips fell that things had to be re-estimated every time.

and that's hard. and sad. but it's also the reality that the korea program now faces and will continue to face. i have friends who will, unfortunately, wait even longer to bring their babies home.

and you know what?

there's nothing i can do about it.

no matter how angry, frustrated, upset, sad, and heartbroken i am, there is *nothing* i can do to make this process go faster.

and while i can sit and wallow in self-pity and sadness (which, honestly, is kinda what i've been doing), it's not going to help.

so instead, i'm going to try my darnedest to make the choice to rejoice.

i'm going to rejoice in the fact that we do have a son and that he is healthy and loved and that he *will* be home. and though he might not be home on our timeline, he *will* be home. and though we may not know it right now, there is a reason for this extra wait. perhaps it is to grow our own character and to truly learn and live perserverance. i don't know. but He does.

so. i'm going let go of my own wants and desires and instead, trust and find joy.

and to help me, i'm pulling out the big guns. that's right, friends, christmas cookies; christmas decorating; cheesy chick lit; and even cheesier movies are making themselves cozy in my life.

and you know what else helps?

all of YOU.

you and your love and support and encouagement mean the world to me. truly...i cried reading each of your comments here and on f*book and feel so cared for knowing that your prayers and thoughts are with us. we are so thankful for each of you that make up this incredible community.
i would be an even bigger hot mess without you.

oh, and p.s. we've already been told we won't hear anything until monday. never in my life have i wanted it to be monday so badly.

in this case, no news is not good news.

here we are at the start of week seven in what was estimated to be a 4-6 week wait.

do i know what's going on?

nope.

have we heard anything from the korean ministry?

nope.

should we have heard some news by now?

yes.

is it sending me over the edge?

absolutely, positively, one hundred percent YES.


***


i heard from our specialist at our US agency today and they informed me that as of monday in korea, our paperwork was *still* in the ministry. our korean agency will be speaking with the program director at our US agency again tomorrow evening. hopefully, by wednesday, we'll have some concrete answers.

until then, i'm just barely holding it together. i've been snippy and emotional and impatient and scatter-brained. i know i've said again and again that this wait has been hard, but this part? this last leg?

it's the pits.

i'll be back when i have news to share. hopefully my next post will be on the extreme other end of the emotional spectrum.

holding on to some truth...

do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
~phillipians 4:6

28 do you not know?
have you not heard?
the Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
~isaiah 40:28-31

tired of...

waiting.

of being anxious.

tired of staring at my phone, willing it to ring.

tired of being totally scatter-brained, not being able to concentrate on anything.

of being asked questions to which i don't know the answers.

of missing my son.

tired of looking at the calendar and guessing.

tired of wanting it to be my turn.

of crying tears for a little one i have not yet met.

.
.
.

i'm not going to lie. last week was really hard. many tears were shed. many frustrations were voiced. i told the hubs i've reached my breaking point in this wait. i truly thought we would have heard something by now and that we would have had a more definite idea of when choi boy would be home.

i am trying so hard to trust and wait on God's timing, but the nine-month mark of waiting is coming up next week, making the grand total 16 months of waiting from the start of our process, and it's getting harder and harder.

today is monday in seoul. it is also the start of the sixth week since our EP submission, and we were told it would probably be 4-6 weeks from submission to approval. i am hoping and praying that our paperwork will be out of the ministry today or tomorrow. i am hoping and praying that we will hear something very very very soon.

until then, we'll just have to continue to wait, as hard as it is.

even piper looks like she's waiting for her brother...


choi boy, we miss you, baby...hope to have you in our arms so, so soon.

give it to me straight.

okay, mommas, i need your input.

i'm reading parenting your internationally adopted child by the adoption guru (you know, ms. patty cogen). i know, it's about time, right? i am admittedly a procrastinator and am now frantically trying to read through the book before choi boy comes home!

the book has some really great insight and i'm learning a lot.

but, the thing is, as great as the book is, parts of it also scare the pants off me! i've been told to take the book with a grain of salt, but still...the parts that scare me the most are the parts about attachment and adjustment (so, pretty much the whole book!).

i know that it's going to be hard. and i know that there is going to be a considerable amount (a LOT) of grieving and adjusting on choi boy's part, as well as a lot of adjusting on our part. i know that things are likely going to be ROUGH for a quite a bit. i also know that there will be moments of great joy that will balance out these more difficult ones, but that does not make the hard moments less scary. (at least right now.)

now, the best part of blogging has been finding an amazing community of people who have traveled this road ahead of us and know what we might be facing in the coming weeks and months. i am sincerely grateful for your wisdom and your experience and for coaching us along as we travel in your footsteps.

so dear friends, i am going to call upon your wisdom and experience and ask you help me out. is patty right? is the attachment period going to be super duper hard??? for years? and no sugar-coating...give it to me straight.

and, if this is too personal a subject for you to comment on, no worries, i totally get that, too!

the bright side.

yesterday i wrote about all the fun things i'm looking forward to doing with choi boy. YAY!

but, you wanna know a secret? i'm kinda freaking out about the fact that my boy will be home in a matter of weeks! days, even! eeek!

i know, i know, it's been such a long wait, and you all know how hard it's been waiting...but now that things are HAPPENING, it's like, whoa nelly!

so, as we take the remaining weeks to prepare for choi boy's homecoming, i am also going to take advantage of the last few toddler-free days we have.

looking on the bright side of our long wait, here are some things we are going to savor and enjoy before we bring choi boy home:

*eating out.

*taking my time while shopping.

*reading.

*showering daily.

*watching tv and not feeling guilty about what's on. a bravo marathon? sure!

*listening to music where shouting back and repeating the singer is not part of the song.

*having uninterrupted adult conversations. or having conversations in general.

*eating sweets.

*watching harry potter and the deathly hallows IN THE THEATRE! RIDiculously excited.

*and, um, hello? SLEEP! oh, dear, delicious sleep...yum.


of course, i am beyond ecstatic about choi boy finally coming home and will gladly give up everything on the list above. but for now, while we continue to wait, i'm just going to relish everything on the list above. :)

perks.

so, i've loved reading everyone's PPPs (that's pumpkin patch posts, according to my friend, joanna). but, i was having a bit of a pity party for myself (a lot like this one that kelly mentioned) because i didn't have a little guy of my own to bring along for a fun autumnal romp in the patch, therefore preventing me from writing my own PPP.

now that we are close to bringing choi boy home, i've moved from feeling sorry for myself to thinking about all the things that will be better once he is home. next year, i'll actually have an excuse to go to the pumpkin patch -- besides it being fun and seasonal, i'm pretty sure they don't have pumpkin patches in korea. well, at least not the kind where you can go for hayrides and feed goats. pumpkin patches in korea are probably big old hobahk (squash) farms. and korean people use a lot of hobahk in their cooking, which if you remember, i am not a fan of. when i was a little girl, i always got in trouble for picking out pieces of hobahk from my food.

aaaaanyway.

so yes, i'm thinking about things that will be lots better with choi boy. actually, i'm sure life in general will be so much better with choi boy in tow, so here are some specific perks i'm looking forward to:

*the pumpkin patch! (obvs...)

*along the same lines, the apple orchard!

*and the zoo!

*and the farm!

*and the aquarium!

*and the children's museum!

*buying treats while on such outings. can't you just hear it? "but choi boy NEEDS cotton candy/kettle corn/caramel apples/ice cream!" a few minutes later..."can momma have a bite?"

*walking into a children's movie without feeling embarassed.

*not feeling funny while parking myself in the children's section of the library or the book store. now i tell people i'm a teacher, but with choi boy around, i won't have any splainin' to do.

*trying out fun playground equipment. 'cause you know, it's to test out the safety of the equipment.

*being able to sit in the front of big crowds. ahem, "my son can't see!"

*priority seating on public transportation. nice!

and finally,

*three syllables: DIS. NEY. WORLD.


so excited. SO EXCITED.

;)



psst...have you entered yet?

EEEEEEEEP!

we interrupt regular programming to bring you this late-breaking news:

WE ARE IN! OUR EP WAS SUBMITTED TO THE MINISTRY EARLIER THIS WEEK!

yahoo!

we just got an email from our program specialist who just received this news from our program director (who happens to be in korea this week). she knew how anxious we were, so she emailed us as soon as she heard. isn't that nice? :)

yay!!! we're doing a major happy dance here.

this gives us a somewhat definite timeline now, something we haven't really had in this process. now we know that we will be in korea picking up OUR SON sometime in the next 6-9 weeks!

yippee skippy!



if you're visiting from iclw, hello! and a quick disclaimer...my posts *usually* have a bit more meat to them and aren't usually filled with a ridiculous number of exclamation points. ;)

more distractions.

you know how i mentioned that i started crafting as a way to distract myself from thinking about this looooong wait?

people, i've gone into full craft-mode. things are out of control. it looks like a craft store threw up on my dining room table. i now understand why some women have craft rooms in their homes. the hubs keeps asking nicely when i'll be done. we have to move copious amounts of paint, sandpaper, tape, etc out of the way each time we sit down to a meal. it's a little ridic.

but, it sure is fun! ;)

want to see my latest wastes of time projects?

TA-DA!


holy bright flash, batman!
this one is for my friend jen's new little girl. jen and i used to work together and she's had a huge impact on my teaching. i'm so thrilled for her and her new bundle of joy!

and this one is for a current co-worker:

i just love argyle, don't you? i did this one on canvas. mostly because the store ran out of the wooden plaques, but i also thought it would be fun to try out a diffferent surface. what do you think?

i actually like these two more than choi boy's so i really might end up doing his again...neurotic? perhaps.

i have one more in the works. (told you, totally out of control.) i'll post pictures of that one after i give it to a very special momma! :)

bonjour, big baby!

look what arrived in my inbox yesterday!



pictures of choi boy in his birthday hanbok!



clearly, our boy thinks being in a hanbok is just about the awesomest thing ever. look at that face of sheer joy!

it also looks like choi boy got a haircut! so long, dreams of baby mullets and rattails...

i love these pictures and am super thankful for them, but they make me a bit sad, too. it's bittersweet because they are a reminder that choi boy is getting so big (look at his gigantor feet!) and we're missing out on watching him grow.

le sigh...and so it goes with the wait.

i can't wait to FINALLY have him in our arms and kiss those big baby feet again and again.



if you haven't already, join the 100th post giveaway fun!

a distraction.

goodness, thank you so very much for all your love and support. i so needed it. kelly's comment: "And yes, one IS the loneliest number but I hope you know that you are not alone - we are all here for you Grace." felt so true. fo sho. thank you for being here for me.

really, we're okay now. we're at peace and we're learning a lot (like, a lot, a lot, A LOT) about patience and trust.

and, i misspoke. we are *not* the only family waiting for our child to come home from korea. we *are* the last waiting family waiting to get our EP within our US agency, but there are other families with other US agencies waiting for their EPs, too. like, min. she's become my waiting buddy and we'll probably be in korea at or around the same time in december. if you have a moment, go give her some encouragement, too...her daughter is just beautiful and min and her family have been waiting for so long to bring her home.

though we are doing better, i needed something to keep my mind off our extended wait, so i got/attempted to get my craft on.

now, i can't sew like dana, or knit like suzy or heather (and a lot of my other blog buddies, too!), or design like christine, or crochet like kelly, but i do make these name signs for babies/children.

i've been painting these signs for a few years now for my friends' children, so i was excited to finally be able to make one for my own little one.


i think i got a bit over enthusiastic because i'm not sure how much i actually like it. the green is a lot more green that i thought/wanted (note to self, ANY color looks dark against white!), and the brown might be a bit overkill.


i still need to touch up the letters a bit, and i may end up scrapping the whole thing and starting a new one, because hey, i sure have the time! :) i'm also working on two signs for two other very special little ones and i'm thankful to have something to keep me occupied. you may see a LOT more attempts at craftiness from this non-crafter during extra long wait. bear with me, k?

left out.

you know that feeling you get when you're the last one picked for a team? or when all your friends get invited to a party but you don't? or maybe you were athletic and popular and never experienced such privileges. ;)

anyway.

that's how i'm feeling today.

remember that serious hoping and praying i was doing on sunday (and many of you were hoping and praying right along with me) about getting notice of EP submission this week?

yeah, not gonna happen.

it turns out, there *was* a batch sent in to the ministry late last week. and it turns out there *were* phone calls made early this week to families notifying them of their children's EP submissions.

we just weren't one of them.

actually, from our agency, we were the ONLY one that wasn't one of them.

we spoke in person with the program director yesterday and she told us that we absolutely should have been a part of that group, and that when she saw that our names were not on the list along with the other families, she was shocked.

she told us that she would be calling korea to see what happened and she also reassured us that back in april when the EP submission quota was first met, we were definitely on the definitive list for families that were guaranteed 2010 EPs and travel calls.

today she called to tell us that she tried to get the korean agency to push our paperwork into the ministry, but she was told that while we wouldn't get in with this next batch, we *would* be submitted in 2 to 3 weeks.

being submitted in 2 to 3 weeks brings us to traveling in december.

DECEMBER.

*sigh*

i remember when we first got choi boy's referral and saw his sweet little face, we prayed and prayed that he would be home by his first birthday. and when that didn't seem possible, i prayed that he'd be home for halloween (omg, i had the CUTEST costume idea for him and piper -- a knight and his dragon! i know, right? feel free to take that idea as we won't be using it). when we didn't get an august EP, i started praying he'd be home for thanksgiving. well, after today, i am praying that choi boy will be home for christmas.

i don't think i'd be able to handle christmas without him.

and while i'm still choosing to rejoice, because let's face it, a 2010 travel date is still a whole lot better than traveling in february 2011, it's still hard. really hard.

one is the lonliest number.