seriously, thank you so much for all the encouragement and prayers and words of wisdom throughout our transition this week.
i'm not going to lie. it was HARD.
it *is* H-A-R-D hard.
having to remove choi boy's tightly gripped arms from around my neck and handing him off to our childcare provider is not easy. having choi boy's cries be the last sound i hear before i leave for work is not easy. to hear that choi boy often sits by himself clutching mini and looking at his pictures of us* is not easy.
yesterday, i managed to hold it together during the 4 minute drive to work and as i walked in to my school. but the minute i saw my friends and they welcomed me back and asked how i was, i lost it. we're talking waterworks, people. and every time someone else asked how i was, a few more tears managed to pop out.
but. thinking about all your sweet comments and the fact that many of you had been through similar experiences and survived helped me get through my 4 hours at work. no, really. i kept telling myself that this was normal and that we could get through it, just like my friends had. it was my mantra.
and that pick up? oh, that pick up was so sweet...and though cb napped for a total of 15 minutes yesterday, our afternoon was still so sweet and special.
this morning was just as hard, but i managed to keep it together throughout the morning and i even truly enjoyed being at work and working with my kiddos. cb had a better day, too. our childcare provider said he slowly started playing with the other kids yesterday and today, he even brought over things to show her and interacted well with her, instead of crying when she looked directly at him as he had on other days. (SO sad!)
the afternoons at home have been fairly normal, although cb has been a tad clingy, which was expected. but other than that, he's the regular ol' cb once we're home -- goofy, silly, playful and fun. he's also woken up with some nightmares the past few nights and i think he's processing this change as he sleeps. it's so hard to hear him cry and wake himself up, but he's been going back to sleep after some snuggles and then waking up as his happy, usual self.
i think the transition will continue to take some time, but it seems as though we're headed in the right direction for now. of course, we'll see what tuesdays are like for cb after weekends and mondays at home with daddy, but i'm going to remain positive and say that things will get better, right? right??
today was better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today.
my little guy even fell asleep in the car (clutching mini, his BFF and transitional buddy) and transferred right into his crib when we got home:
i'm pretty sure he was exhausted from working so hard on this special project:
;) i'm going to treasure it forever.
*(thank you for that suggestion, by the way! i didn't have time to make the picture book, but i sent him with the picture album we sent to korea in one of our care packages. God bless cb's foster mom for returning it to us -- it is familiar to him and he loves looking at it at home, so it was a good item to help with the transition. thanks!)