this week is national infertility awareness week.
and though i don't talk much about it now that choi boy is home, infertility was (and still is) a big part of our journey.
last year, i wrote about lessons i had learned through infertility.
this year, things are a little different because i *am* a mom now. but the sting of infertility still stealthily lurks underneath and jealousy, bitterness, and sadness can still rear their ugly heads at times. and i hate that. i think it's because for a long time, i felt like our infertility indentified me. and i'm learning to shake that, but healing deep wounds is a process.
but wounds are also reminders. reminders of lessons we have learned; places we have been; changes that have shaped us into who we are today. and i don't want to forget any of those important things.
as i mentioned before, at this point, i am mostly just grateful for the situation our infertility put us in because it lead us to choi boy. and thought of not being *his* parents is just unthinkable.
but, i know how heartbreaking and difficult the road of infertility can be. and i know how isolating and lonely it is because people just dont't talk about it. and i know that it feels hopeless and daunting and it consumes you. and i know that it often just plain sucks.
and i guess all that's to say, if you're going through infertility, you're not alone. and it's okay to talk about it. and there should absolutely be awareness brought to it.
because chances are, if you're not on this road, someone you know is.
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So, so true, Grace. The healing process definitely takes time, and I think some of the wounds may never heal completely. Thanks for posting this!
ReplyDeleteGrace, you and Peter and your blogging have DEFINITELY opened my eyes to the heartbreaking issue of infertility, and every time you blog and it shows up in my google reader, my heart both jumps and feels a sting of gratitude that you are in my life... it is crazy humbling and a gigantic huge smack to the face whenever I am feeling ungrateful for the blessing that is my child. Thank you and I'm so grateful for you!!!
ReplyDeletethank you for the reminder, Grace!
ReplyDeleteYou've said it perfectly. I've been trying to come up with the right words for a blog post of my own and I don't think I could do better than this. Thank you for sharing. (Maybe I can use some of your thoughts for the basis of my post?)
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a leader so others do not suffer in silence, the thought of not being a mother brings tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying what has been on my heart all week long. Very well said.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. It gives me goosebumps when I think back to my prayers before adoption. If he would have given us a child we would not have pursued adoption and we would not have Matthew. Just thinking about makes my heart want to stop!
ReplyDeleteNicely said....there's a big family of us out there and we definitely need to use our voices to support each other.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Grace.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Grace, and you're right - can you even fathom Carson not being your son? The world works in mysterious ways, my friend :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty and sharing. I've learned a lot from my friends who are willing to be so transparent on their blogs. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. Nicely said.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely *PERFECT.* Such a way with words, Grace. My social worker said in a very astute comment that infertility will never completely go away-it is like the death of a grandparent; sometimes the hurt is more apparent than other times, but overall each day it gets a little easier.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one feeling the sting... and it's been extra strong lately. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had such an awesome community of friends who could relate to our situation when we were going through our infertility issues. Looking back now, I have met so many amazing people who journeyed the same tough infertility road as us. Even having Adam and Ben now, the sting of infertility never goes away. I still marvel at those who can get pregnant so easily and who will never really understand the pain and heartache of trying to conceive for years.
ReplyDelete