Friday, February 10, 2012

"he looks just like you!"...

...and other comments of the like are ones we've heard quite a bit lately.

i don't know if it's because choi boy is seriously bringing the cute lately, just like his cute appa (but really, CB is WAY cuter than the hubs was as a kid. for reals. i'm sorry, babe, but it's true. need i pull out the bowl cut picture again?), or because CB is looking more boy than baby and therefore looking less like just another baby, or people are just trying to make conversation, or what, but we've been hearing it a lot.

way back when, before CB was home, i wrote this post wondering about how i would react and respond to such comments. and my very wise friends (sidenote: i accidentally typed WIDE friends. heehee.) shared that there would be a time and a place to share about our family story and there would be many other times when we would just be doing a lot of nodding and saying "thank you" and walking away.

we've been doing a lot of nodding and saying "thank you" and walking away.

because most of the time, when people make that remark, CB is right there with me. and though we talk about CB's adoption story and our family journey a lot, and CB will proudly tell anyone who asks that he came from "kee-yah!" on an "eh-pane!", i don't want him to feel like he has to be defined by the fact that he is adopted.

and i feel like if i were to correct people about this in front of CB all the time, saying something like, "well, actually, he's adopted so he probably looks like his birth family," it would make him (even at 2 years old) feel funny. like his adoption needed to label him and always be declared. you know?

but at the same time, i don't want CB to think we aren't proud of and so, so, SO thankful for his adoption story. so, if it is more than a stranger making such a comment, we do try to share a little bit about our family and our journey.

in short, i still don't know how to answer this. and i think i won't for while. i think and hope that as CB grows up, he'll be able to give us cues on how he wants us to handle this. maybe we'll come up with a secret wink or other signal we can give each other after we nod and say "thank you" in response. or maybe he'll openly share about his adoption story and i'll beam proudly behind him.

or maybe he'll say, "gross! you think i look like my mom?! she's a girl!"

(i repsonded similarly when people told me i looked like my dad when i was little.)


but you know what's really funny? and a little eerie? CB kinda *does* look like our family. it's a little uncanny. he kind of resembles my dad,
Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

but we think he looks most like my cousin, CB's 'lissa eemo, when she was his age. it's a little crazy:
Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App


and, just because....

you're welcome.


  1. Oh, I'm so sorry about the haircut. The comparison pictures are great. I wouldn't have thought so before, but yeah, I guess there is a resemblance. Or maybe I'm just really susceptible to the power of suggestion. Either way, super super SUPER cute kid!

  2. HAHHAHAHHAHA that pix of Pastor Peter is totally awesome!
    As for the comparision pics it does look the same.
    Lastly, re: sharing his adoption story-- I think its beautiful and truly there's a time and place for everything... mostly I think he'll be defined by the fact that he has parents who LOVE him and LOVE God :)

  3. Hi, grace! Joy here, too lazy to sign in as myself. I love, love the picture! And, yes, the resemblance is uncanny. And seriously, that picture of your husband is too cute! Dig the sweater/shirt. I think the way you are handling the sharing of CB's adoption story is wise. Happy Saturday! :)

  4. I guess that is kind of an awkward statement. I'm not sure how I would handle it either.

    Thanks for giving me my morning laugh! Love that pic of your hubs. Too funny!

  5. We have had the same experience on several occasions which I find completely hilarious because Jason and I are quite clearly Caucasian and Paul is quite clearly Asian. I always say thank-you and take it as a compliment since Paul is so stinkin' cute. However, I do want to ask if they have been to an eye doctor lately!

    CB is such a cutie that you definitely should take the comments as a compliment....and he will be secure in his adoption story as he continues to grow and understand it more so you won't feel like you have to explain anything to any random stranger.

  6. It does seem like such a balance. You don't want adoption to define him, yet you don't want him to be ashamed of it either. I know you are doing a wonderful job, I don't doubt that at all. When the time (finally) comes for us to adopt, I will be gleaning from your experience!

  7. Oh man, this is such a strange territory to be in... no?! When I look at Choi Boy, I do actually see a resemblance to your family at times. We haven't gotten the comment that he looks just like me, because clearly, he doesn't. But I get the comment "He's JUST LIKE YOU!" All. The. Time. And I have to agree! That makes it easier to say "thank you" or "I know, funny - right?!" and move on. But there's still plenty of times where it's a weird comment that I don't know how to respond to. Regardless, you'll find your groove, and I think you will just know when it's right, and when it's not. :-)

  8. We've had that Alex looks like Matt... seriously. He does have a bit of a Robinson look at times... but I think that is natural. Like C said - you will find your groove :)

  9. oh my gosh. totally looks like your fam! great post. tricky one i can imagine. love the last pic of course. will never grow old heehee.


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