Sunday, January 16, 2011

a blessing in disguise {one month together}.

today marks the end of our first month together as a trio of chois. it's a little confusing because choi boy was in our arms on december 17, but we weren't home until december 20. we just might end up celebrating and recognizing both days -- because, hey, who doesn't love a little extra something to celebrate? ;)

i took choi boy to church today for the first time and i found myself incredibly nervous beforehand. i think i was so worried that it would be so overwhelming for our little guy. in part, it kinda was. you would not believe how popular choi boy was! actually, you've seen video and pictures, so maybe you would. ;) but the swarms of people that came to greet us and congratulate us was just an extra reminder of how loved our son is.

we got so many well wishes and congratulations, but from members of the korean congregation, the remark that we heard again and again was about what a blessing choi boy is. in fact, one of my parents' friends called choi boy a "bohk dung-uh-ree," which, literally translated, means a "lump of blessings." :)

and it is so true. we are so incredibly blessed to call choi boy our son. i cannot say it enough. over the last month, people who have met him have commented on his incredibly sweet and easy-going personality and his friendliness and generally happy attitude. and quite frankly, we had nothing to do with that. that's how choi boy came to us and we are so blessed by our happy little guy.

but, as i've been reflecting on this past month, something else has been creeping into my thoughts and i've slowly been ruminating on this thought as it's been rolling through and marinating in my mind.

and it's this:

our infertility was such a blessing.

i know, say what?!

i never ever, ever, ever, ever in a million zillion years thought i'd say that. but it's true.

as dark and awful as our struggles with infertility were, and as much as they will never be forgotten, they just cannot compete with the utter joy we are experiencing right now.

and the crazy part is, were it not for those struggles, we would not have this joy.

sure, we absolutely would have had joy from biological children, but we wouldn't have *this* joy with *this* child.

i do think we would have adopted even if we had biological children, but i know the timing wouldn't have worked out where we would have been matched with choi boy. so, had we not gone through what we did with our infertility, choi boy would not be our son.

and that...

is just unimaginable right now.

choi boy has just consumed our hearts and we are just bursting with love for this little one that could not be any more perfect for us. it truly is a match made in heaven. the Lord knew what He was doing and we are so grateful for that. and we are *so* grateful for choi boy's birth mother and foster family who each sacrificed and gave so much so that we could call choi boy ours.

we are SO abundantly blessed. blessed now...and as hard as it was to see it and acknowledge it, we were blessed back on that broken road that led us to choi boy. (sorry for the way cheesy rascal fl*atts reference.)

i am reminded so vividly of this:
"...weeping may endure for a night,
but joy comes in the morning."

~psalm 30:5

and since i know that now you really come here for the pictures, i'll share some choi boy joy with you. ;)

Photobucket
having some snack...

Photobucket
and savoring every bite. heehee :)

Photobucket
cheering for the beloved packers with daddy.

Photobucket
trying chick-fil-a for the first time, and much to grandpa's delight, loving it!

Photobucket
thinking about chomping away at spot...

Photobucket
and deciding to snuggle instead. :)

Photobucket
getting cozy in the crib (he slept like this throughout his entire nap!)

p.s. totally random side story...the hubs' favorite girl name is "joy." but he always said it would be so mean to name a girl "joy choi." since then we've jokingly said we would name our sons "roy" and "troy" so we could have a whole slew of kids with rhyming names. who knew the rhyming moniker, "choi boy" would have such meaning in our lives?? ;)

36 comments:

  1. We too have said that God's plan is amazing and that He uses things that don't seem like blessings, like infertility, and uses them to be where He wants us to be. I can't imagine NOT having my three children and am so grateful that His plan was so, so much better than anything I could have dreamed.

    And I remember the first time we took each of our children to church - it was bit overwhelming but it also really made us feel like a family. So glad you were surrounded with love today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. what a wonderful perspective! I have experienced the same thoughts in regard to our pregnancy losses. Of course we would have adored those children, but then we wouldn't have had Isaac! I wouldn't trade him for anything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was just thinking this the other day. I also feel that our infertility is a blessing. I couldn't imagine my life without Kyle.

    btw: Love all the pictures of Choi boy but that last one with his foot sticking out of the crib is so precious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Um...you and I must have some weird connection going because I had a post drafted in my head about being thankful for my infertility...AND the song "God Bless the Broken Road" was part of it! Scary...but God really does know what he is doing and He is teaching us this at the same time! Yay for being IF buddies!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. P.S. You must tell CB that no matter what, he must tell Grandpa that his chicken nuggets are better than Dave Thomas's nuggets. Please don't let G-Pa's heart be broken again. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a sweet post! God always has the PLAN....and although we can't see it because we are so wrapped up in our "human-ness", HE is FAITHFUL and delivers dreams and joys that we can only begin to imagine~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congrats on being together for a month! Our family day is also a 16th and we arrived home on a 20th. I never thought about celebrating both, but that's a good idea.

    You can tell that Choi Boy loves Chick-Fil-A! That face is adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Grace, it's so true, isn't it? You had to go through everything you did to get to Choi Boy and it's not until you are through it all that you can look back and truly understand the plan. We often feel the same way about Max. What a blessing indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes. What a blessing, indeed. And the broken road song? Cheesy as it is, I've played it many a time, with tears streaming down my face. (I'm about as cheesy as they come. :))

    ReplyDelete
  10. Amen! Great post! I've thought about that Rascal Flatts song in our situation as well. The not-so-fun journey of IF brought us to Daniel...at just the right time, the perfect boy was waiting for us. *love*!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I completely agree with this...and feel the same way. I'm glad we went through all we went through...for without all that...Little D wouldn't be our son. We love him more than anything in the world & feel blessed to be his parents.

    Adorable pics...my faves? The snuggling (or eating) Spot and your GB Packer boys. We thought of them during/after the game.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh my... Roy, Troy, and Joy Choi would be the awesomest names ever. HEEHEE!!!
    We have not been down the infertility road; we always knew that if we wanted children, they would come to us through adoption. So while I can't say I know exactly how you feel, I do definitely understand how you feel in a different way. We had originally signed up to adopt a baby from Viet Nam. As the country's adoption practices came under question, we got more and more nervous that things wouldn't work out. I remember daily (more like hourly) tears because our dreams weren't going to come true.
    But had the U.S. not severed relations with VN, we never would have found our Olive. And I can't even imagine life without her.
    Isn't it funny how life works itself out just as it should? :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is such an honest, beautiful and happy post. Like many others, I can say that I feel so similarly about our journey to becoming the parents of our son.

    LOVE the Packer fans in your house! What a great victory this weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I feel the exact same way about our infertility. It's so amazing to look back and see what God had planned for us! Choi Boy is definitely a lump of blessings, and an adorable lump at that. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. he has brought a lump of blessings! he is so adorable. And yes, i agree, having an amazing child in your home makes you look at the trial of infertility from a different perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  16. this is so beautifully said grace. and it's so true. one of my new favorite life quotes is "life doesn't always turn out how you expected, sometimes it's better" i'm not sure who said this, or if anyone did - but it's how i feel about our life. i couldn't have planned things out more perfectly for my little family.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So true!! I say that all the time. I wish I could talk to myself 2-3 years ago at the darkest times and say 'REALLY, you'll be happy when this doesn't work.' I'm so thankful IF was a bust!
    We're lucky mamas aren't we with our lumps of blessings?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow, I can completely relate to both being grateful for infertility and feeling the love at church. My church family could not be more supportive. Choi boy is amazing and you are indeed blessed! Congrats on your happy month together!

    I think fondly of each day that marks an anniversary of sorts (day we got referral, day we got travel call, day we got our hands on each of our boys), but we count the day we walked through the door of our home together as THE arrival day.

    So glad for your happiness!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Tears of thankfulness to God that His plan truly is perfect.

    The pictures are fantastic - love the dog sweater still! Also the one where he's trying to put the dog in his mouth and I LOVE the foot on the crib bumper. I remember my kids doing that sometimes. Something so sweet about it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Carson, I feel ya', Bud, sometimes those snacks put me in ecstasy, too! However, I am going to be routing for the Jets unless you can tell me that the Packers have fewer super bowl rings under their belt than the Jets. I am pretty much always for the underdog in the NFL.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I try to remind myself that God has a plan for us, and eventually it will unfold. This is an awesome example of his work! The nugget picture is darling. He is so handsome.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Grace,

    What an honest and heart-felt post...you are such a talented writer!

    So glad that you are lov. ing. being a mom (at least most of the time, right?)...it is a job like no other, that is for sure!

    And of course...go Pack! How does Choi boy have more Pack apparel than Evan and we live in Wisco??? I know...gotta' get on that one!

    Keeping enjoying him...he is adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  23. i know what you mean. it is a fascinating thought... i've been thinking though something similar lately too... yay for one month! glad he is getting so much love from everyone around you too.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Congratulations on you and your son finding each other. Despite a great deal of pain and loss on both sides, you've created a beautiful family.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love this. I love this. I love this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS. I'm so happy that you've been able to readjust your view and see God's greater plan in all of the troubled times. It's SO GOOD! Makes me really happy after seeing all the pain you were going through. I love you so much! Thank the GOOD LORD that CB is my nephew :D I can't imagine having ANY OTHER little boy.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Beautifully, perfectly, wonderfully said! I've thought and said the same thing many times before. One of the quotes I love is this: "Hurt serves a purpose. It intensifies joy when it finally comes." Anyone who has struggled to have a child knows this full well. Congrats on one joyful month together!

    Choi Boy is ridiculously cute!!

    Go Pack Go!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. so, so true...I believe that I'm infertile so that I could be the mom my boys otherwise wouldn't have.

    congrats on one month together and being able to find peace with the struggles and loss that brought you to this place in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Happy Month! Isn't amazing how *now* you can see why *then* had to happen!? This process has made me realize that things always work out just as they should... even if it doesn't seem that way.

    And, uh, can I come gobble up Choi Boy now?!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Grace, this is such a beautiful post and it expresses how I have felt since bringing X home. I can't imagine life any other way. Thanks for putting into words what I have felt for so long.

    And thanks for the pics of adorable Choi Boy!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. TRULY TRULY A blessing!!! God always is working te background :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. grace, i have felt the exact same way since before noah was even home. i remember on his first birthday ( which we didn't get to celebrate with him and was just about a month before he did come home ) driving in the car with glenn and saying to him that "now i know why my rounds of IUIs didn't work....noah was born during that time and he was meant to be ours." i too cant imagine my life being any other way. :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am new here and look forward to exploring your wonderful blog more! My husband and I welcomed our son home from Korea in July 2009 just as you began your adoption journey. Just wanted to pop in and say "Hi"!

    Also, it took us a very long time before our son would sleep in his crib, good job mama! :)

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  33. first, i think it's soooo great how you've been so generous with your life - your story's been such a profound resource of comfort. you wield influence so well, true to your name.

    second. "our infertility was such a blessing." um, hwat?! [speechless] that kinda blew my face off.

    third. chick-fil-a from the grandpa: [napoleon dynamite voice] luckyyyy.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Congratulations on being together for a month! I haven't been around much this month, but I have been peeking in on you guys. And I'm so thrilled and happy for you!



    "as dark and awful as our struggles with infertility were, and as much as they will never be forgotten, they just cannot compete with the utter joy we are experiencing right now."

    I am quoting you so that I can restate how happy I am for you. And that I absolutely cannot wait to experience the utter joy. Cannot wait.

    Also, I'm going to restate my love for Chick-Fil-A. I wish I lived near one. What wouldn't I do to have ready access to those waffle fries? Holy moly.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Isn't it amazing that infertility can turn into such a blessing?! I couldn't have believed that 7 years ago, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love seeing the joy that Carson has brought to your family. He is absolutely beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Sorry I just got to this post. So behind! But so glad that I'm catching up and reading about this beautiful moment in your lives.

    ReplyDelete

why, hello there! do you have something to say? 'cause i'd so love to hear it!