stop time.

Hi, there. Remember me? I used to blog around these parts and then fell off the face of the internet about 6 months ago? (Yikes, 6 months?!)

We've been busy running our little rodeo, and although nothing's really changed from 6 months ago until now, somehow life just feels busier. And in addition to it feeling busier, all of a sudden it feels like we've really got a big boy on our hands... Over the past few months, we've seen our little Choi Boy grow up into truly a boy. No trace of toddler left in him and the preschooler in him is even beginning to slowly morph into this full-on boy. It's hard and scary to believe that in just 6 short months, CB will be a full-fledged school-age kid in Kindergarten!

As I think about this, I'm simultaneously in awe and disbelief that 1) I've managed to keep CB alive and well for several years (hardy har har) and 2) that time has been moving even more quickly than it did when he was a wee little one. And here's the thing about time: it's so stealthy...you've all heard that saying, "The days are long, but the years are short"? It's SO true. There are days that seem to go for, well, days, and then I blink and suddenly I've got this independent little man on my hands that doesn't need his momma nearly as much as he used to.

Don't get me wrong, CB still needs help with lots of things -- he's still in a 5-point harness car seat, for cryin' out loud (he's a looooong way from that 40-lb mark!). But, now at almost 4 and a half, he'll play independently for upwards of 2 hours; can shower almost completely by himself; fearlessly walks up to information desks and food service workers to ask for help at the library or at restaurants; and when he gets up in the morning, he gets up to use the bathroom on his own and starts playing basketball in his room, not caring that the hubs and I might still be asleep. (It's kind of hilarious to wake up to the sound of him shooting hoops in room and doing his own commentary. We often hear phrases like, "I'm on fire!" "He makes it all the way from downtown!!" at 6:30am -- for reals.

Also, he's totally into pulling crazy stunts like this:

On the one hand, it's been a lot of fun hanging out with my little big kid, and while whining is certainly still present, it's not nearly as awful as it was when he was younger. But on the other hand, I just want to stop time.

Stop time while CB is still little enough to be scooped up in my arms. Stop time while he is still little enough not to be embarrassed by endless hugs and kisses from his momma. Stop time while he's still got remnants of the soft, high-pitched little kid voice, with the cutest lisp ever to boot. Stop time while he still loves to draw me cute giant-headed people pictures just because. Stop time while he loves to sing songs to himself and said songs are ones like, "You are My Sunshine" and "Three Little Birds." Stop time while he plays independently, but still wants to be near me.

Stop time while he might not always need me, but always wants me.

I know the reality is that I can't stop time. So instead, I am going to make every effort to be more intentional and more engaged...because before I know it, I'll look back on this time, wondering how he got even bigger, even more quickly...