Tuesday, February 23, 2010

a little background...

for those of you that may not know where we're coming from, here's a little history for ya...

we were married back in 2005, at the tender young ages of 24 and 26 (seriously, we were babies!). when we got married, we consciously made the decision to wait on trying to have children for 2 years...the extra time would give me (grace) time to go to grad school and we would have at least 2 years of marital bliss (sidenote: isn't funny that "marital" looks so much like the word "martial"?). we felt we were too young to be parents and wanted the freedom to still enjoy our mid-twenties.

fast forward to 2007. you know that phrase, "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."? yeeeeahhh...so true.

here we were ready to add on to our family, thinking it would be so easy and effortless, no worries at all. and then, 3 months went by. and then 6. and pretty soon an entire year went by. infertility is defined as the inability to conceive after 1 year, so over that 12 month mark, we headed over to the doctor, nervous, but hopeful that we would be faced with something that was semi-easily fixable.

unfortunately, the news we were met with was not hopeful news at all. in fact, it was something we had not expected nor wanted to hear. ever. after undergoing different tests, we were told that it would be absolutely impossible for us to conceive on our own. in addition to that, we were told that there was a very invasive surgery that was an option, but even with that surgery, it was not guaranteed, and actually not even very likely, that we would then be eligible for procedures like IUI or IVF. ultimately, it meant that the chances of us having a biological child were slim to none.

after hearing this, we were devastated, heartbroken, and so, so, so, so sad. we cried and we grieved the loss of this dream that we had counted on and built in and our hearts and minds.

this period of grieving really consumed us for the better part of a few months. we were so seized by this sudden and unexpected turn of events that it was hard for us to keep our heads above water. it was a time of much crying and questioning, a time of sadness and anger.

eventually, and truly by God's grace, we were able to come to a place of peace. when we couldn't pray for ourselves, others did, and we are so thankful for those prayers and those friendships that helped lift us up. there are still good days and bad days, but we are still hopeful in knowing there are better days ahead.

i'll leave you with some old wedding photos so you can see just how young (and SKINNY!) we were :)


  1. Love knowing your history! LOVE the wedding photos - you're beautiful!
    And btw, you were NOT babies! My husband and I were 21. Yikes!

  2. Wow, just stumbled onto your blog today. Your story is so close to ours I was shocked! We are starting the process to adopt this coming July and are so excited. I laughed out loud when I read the part about telling God our plans.... so me! I hope nothing but the best for you and your family as you bring your little one home! Thanks for telling your story. It really encouraged me!

  3. Definitely not babies, I was almost 18 when I got married.....if my daughter does that, I will...ahhh, I will bless her and go on...
    Pam in Henan


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